Real goals are spectacular – they are alluring, delicious and wildly inspiring. They are the result or outcome of that which we truly desire to manifest in our lives. They are our visions of our ideal life, our brightest and highest hopes, and our most dazzling fantasies. Goals that matter to us, goals that are ‘real’ to us, enhance our satisfaction with life. When we have goals we have purpose and when we have a purpose in life, we value life. Life becomes so much more enriching when we want to live and participate in it and function beyond survival. Goals that are real to us feed our humanity, they are those rare dreams we actually wake up remembering that make us want to stay in bed and tune back in to dreaming, and not because we feel tired, but because the dream felt that great! Our dreams, our hopes, and our visions can actually become true, because when we focus on the things that occupy our minds repeatedly, when we consider specific ideas and concepts, and then empower those thoughts further with concentrated actions that strategically align directly with our goals; they become manifestations of our own designs. In other words, what we truly want we truly get.
The Oxford Dictionary defines a Goal in the following term: “The object of a person’s ambition or effort; an aim or desired result.”
What are your desires and/or ambitions? How do you imagine your life being? What is it that you want? In what way(s) would you change your life? What is more important to you – family or career? Are you someone more interested in getting swept away by romance or having solid friendships? What is more important to you – good looks or good character? Do you want children? How long are you prepared to wait for a decision to be made? What can you not compromise on? Do you want more work responsibility or less? Will you be willing to holiday less for more pay? What about fewer hours for more pay but a horrible working environment?
These are some of the types of questions that may plague us and keep us up at night but we need to ask ourselves questions. Reflective questions about our life are seldom easy questions to answer but the sooner we get clear about the answers, the easier our lives will become. We can then begin to plan our goals around the areas in our life in which we feel we must obtain greater satisfaction. Ask yourself some excellent questions and question your past actions! How did you get yourself into a particular situation? Where could you have made better choices? Why did you make this choice as opposed to another? Reflective questions are excellent tools to use as part of strategic interventions. They can assist us in making the right decisions, or the ‘better’ decisions, NEXT time. Right or wrong, good or bad – these are self-determined concepts. Questions which correlate to areas in our life we are troubled with are extremely significant. We benefit by answering them honestly. As a result, we increase our self-awareness and with more self-awareness we can spot those same scenarios reappearing in our life and provide better responses based on thoughtful consideration. “YES”, “NO”, “IT DEPENDS”. What is important to you may not be as important to me or to someone else. Some situations are complicated and involve greater risk. Are you willing to take risks? It is vitally important that you take the time to think about and write down your own questions. Think about goals as the areas in your life in which you wish to obtain greater satisfaction. You are the boss of your life and at the end of the day if something in your life is not making you happy you have the power to change it and you have every right to seek greater satisfaction in that area.
Once we create our own goals, goals that are deeply meaningful and personal to us, they become exponentially more potent and powerful. Goals are the triggers that shape and transform our lives. Powerful and real goals evoke feelings a lot like love – happiness, euphoria and contentment. If your goals don’t make you feel amazing, great, and genuinely happy, than they are not your real goals – they are just a list of things you ‘think’ you should write down to fill a space on a page so it doesn’t look empty. Who wants to achieve anything they ‘think’ they should do? You should be able to know it and feel it in your gut. This is also referred to as intuition. Don’t waste your time anymore – get some real goals by creating goals you truly want. Goals are personal and unique. They may appear to be selfish, silly or ridiculous to others, but others are not you!! You are you!!! And no-one is ever going to be you because we are all gloriously unique and different - despite the fact we share some similarities. And goals, real goals, cannot realise their full manifestation if we ourselves, their orchestrator and creator, are not committed and/or ‘in-love’ with their idea. If you don’t love your goals than you need to either re-define or transform them entirely. Children are great at re-defining their goals because they do this regularly at school. They have routines and set times to achieve their targets. As adults however, our hours increase and our tasks just keep building up from all sorts of directions. New people enter our lives and we enter theirs and if we don’t know what our goals are – we can waste a lot of our time. So the reason I raise the importance of goals is that if you don’t have very strong goals which you have created for yourself and by yourself, you will be fulfilling someone else’s goals and you will end up feeling depressed, angry and resentful. Take responsibility for yourself and be loving and kind to yourself by establishing and knowing what your real goals are.
The Oxford dictionary defines the term SPECTACULAR as follows: “Beautiful in a dramatic and eye-catching way.”
Now think about your existing goal – is it beautiful to you? It doesn’t need to be beautiful to me or other people, it’s your goal. Every successful enterprise started with a spectacular vision – not an irrelevant concept. Like all ideas and concepts – it begins within one mind and then when it is shared or exposed to other minds, it multiplies and expands. This is where all successful goals bear fruit – through the origins of the principal idea. Problems and conflicts arise when we expect other people to love our goals as much as we do. It may never happen. Alternatively, people may like certain aspects of our goals but not others. It is futile to argue your way through a closed and conservative mind and quite frankly, do conservative people ever really change the world? So save your strength and keep your spectacular goals to yourself and share it with others but allow other people to envision their own spectacular goals. We only should share our goals with others when we are firmly convinced that we can achieve our goals without the benefit of needing the approval of other people. Approval is an extraneous concept. It is useful for the benefit of peace, good will and harmony but it is not necessary for your own version of spectacular. You and you alone have to love and approve of your own beautiful goals.
When you know what you want in life and you are passionate and committed to achieving your goals, no-one can dissuade you against your purpose. You can meet with all sorts of individuals with wildly opposing ideas and at the end of the day; you will still retain the substance of your convictions. You will still be you. When we don’t know what we want we find ourselves in situations which we don’t want, because we have allowed it. Knowing what you want is far more important than knowing what you don’t want because what you don’t want often appears looking like something you ‘think’ you want. The easiest example I can think of is a contract. It may look wonderful on the face of it but unless you read the fine print and can comprehend all of the terms and conditions you are agreeing to, then don’t sign anything unless you understand it. Understand yourself and know what you want. I had a conversation with a friend from overseas that I have known for years and he was genuinely perplexed about his relationships with women. He said to me, “Natasha, why do women keep changing their mind all the time? I keep thinking everything is going great and then all of a sudden it’s like World War III.”
I know why this scenario keeps happening to my friend and that is because he wants to date endlessly and women he chooses want to settle into marriage and children! Both parties think that if they were just honest about it from the start then they won’t ‘get’ what they want! Here’s the thing, if people present themselves falsely to appear more ‘ideal’ to another person, at the end of the day it just doesn’t work. The universe doesn’t like or respond well to this type of dishonesty. In addition, by being dishonest to others, you are getting what you DON’T want. It isn’t easy to have our goals ‘fit in’ with other people’s goals. And clearly if we have very different goals than no meeting of the minds can happen and conflict will be inevitable; unless people can live with differences or separate their differences for a greater good. So goals are not just things that we get affected by, they affect our relationships with others. Knowing and being clear about what is really important to you will serve you well in life. If you don’t feel strongly about your goals or you cannot think of goals that you find important enough for you to feel passionate about – then make that your first and primary goal.